Obstacles

Some energy in this world really wants me to not act or be happy in my life. Today was a jarring day in several ways. I was driving to my audition and randomly, slabs of flat granite flew out right in front of my car.  I slammed the brakes as much as I could without risking an accident with the oncoming vehicles behind me. I was able to avoid having the stones hit my windshield- shattered glass would have been extremely hazardous- not to mention a bye bye to this beautiful face. However, it did hit the bumper of my car below my licence plate, which resulted in metal breaking right below it. I got over it and made it to Santa Clarita for the shoot, only to find that they had mistakenly emailed  a confirmation to two actresses for the same part. At that point, I was mildly annoyed and decided to go to work 30 minutes late instead of cribbing about the incident the whole day today. I sped down the 5 and the 405, only to see firefighters extinguishing a moderately severe fire. That put things into perspective for me- today is a good day, I thought to myself. I am alive, breathing, and at least 20 people would show up to care for me if I did happen to get into a car accident.

I went for the Ophelia audition today- I flubbed three times because I was so shaken from the earlier incidents. I wondered sadly for a while whether these obstacles signal that I should quit acting. Then, I thought about the first time I ever dreamt of acting- when I was 6- before I even knew what this craft was called. I thought about my life until today- and everything that I wanted badly- everything I yearned for- was difficult. The thought of giving up never occurred to me during those times- it wasn't even an option if my soul wanted something. My soul wants me to pursue my dream, as I demonstrated to myself when I walked out of my Shakespearean audition today spend and satisfied. I was thinking of how I could be better at doing my monologue for upcoming auditions. Obstacles, then, are tests, not a dead end. Whatever this energy is that blocked me in so many ways today can be defeated by my faith and my hard work.