Sometimes, I am very hard on myself and those I love- because whatever I consider my own, I can afford to be brutally honest with. Or so I thought. I created a situation where the person I love now thinks that we should part because he is not able to give me whatever I deserve.
I have lost a lot in the past couple of years and I've seen many, many setbacks. Yes, life goes on, but I live for love. It is oxygen to me- and because I found someone I love and he loves me too- I have this constant desire to make things perfect for both of us. And this nitpicking cost me- it cost me a lot of heartache and struggle. I want to keep trying- I want to be my best for myself and this person. I want to grow in love. I want to visit foreign lands with this person's hand in mine, take him to places that only I know of- I want to make this person smile when I wake up beside them in the morning, I want to see them enjoying a meal that I cook for them.
I made a mistake. Please forgive me- I am human- I will not let this happen again, and I promise to be more sensitive to this situation. God, please, just be on my side this time- I am sincere in my love for this person and I honestly miss him, as I type this with tears welling up in my eyes. I did not mean to hurt anyone. Don't make me pay a price for loving someone truly.
Yes, I have loved before, but never like this.
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