Do let me know

I sometimes feel like you don't like to be around me. I feel like I am the only one who cares about preserving our friendship/ whatever you want to call it. You always want to rush, always want to leave, and I know that you're a busy person, so I try to understand. You do not have time to go to the beach once with me- I practically have to beg you. I humiliate myself every time, as I wait, and you say that you gotta leave or you cant even show up. You say you don't have much of a relationship with the other person, but you take trips with her- outside trips, that take up days of your time. Who am I to judge? I don't judge here, I just try to look at it clearly.

You say that you don't like to see me because I confuse you. If I do, I understand, but you can't really be confused about someone and love them at the same time, can you? You either like them, or you don't. If you love them, that desire to want to reach out to them should come from within, no? I should not have to ask you. In the times that you do come by, and I enjoy spending time with you, it's great- the things you say leave me feeling like you think of bestowing me with your presence as a huge favor. Yes, you're an important person. I know. But does that make the person standing in front of you any less so?

If I'm really that unpleasant to spend time with, do let me know. Honesty is a trait that I always appreciate in people. That was my first impression of you, that this is an honest person.

Do correct me if I'm wrong. I don't want to hold anything inside of me anymore. What if due to some freak accident I die and I never get to say these things? Please write back.