Optimism

I talked to my friend yesterday when she was over. Her negativity overwhelms me. I understand why we have fear- we want to protect ourselves. It's an inbuilt instinct- people who are close to us fear for our safety. Whenever I want to fly, those close to me are afraid, because they've seen me hurt before. I'm not a pretty sight when I'm hurting- my friends and family say that I look like a walking corpse. I internalize hurt- which is the worst thing anyone can do to themselves.

However, I've come this far because I continued to believe that I can achieve the impossible. I've taken many, many risks in my life. I've always succeeded because I believed that things can only go only my way- no other option. When you ask for something with a true heart, with such a strong belief, it is handed to you. Some people say that faith comes from miracles. Others know that miracles come from faith.

I feel positive emotions wash over me today. It feels like I'm on a drug- I want to ride this high over and over again. I never want this to subside. I made a list today of all the things that I'm grateful for. I cried out of happiness- a first for me. I am a complete person- I don't need anything or anyone to fulfill me. I feel alive today- for the first time in a while. There is so much in this world that I have yet to experience- so many places to see. So many people to meet, so much work to do! So much to conquer. So many hearts to win.

As I dance joyfully in my kitchen, my little brother kisses my cheek, hugs me, and says "There, there, my little whirling dervish, you're adorable. I love you". Tears threaten to fall down my eyes as i look up to him and say, "I hope you always love me and find me adorable, my little darling". I know for sure then, that no matter what, that we will be there for each other, always. I value my family so much now. I will never lie to them again. It hurts too much to be lied to- as I found out recently. I will always be honest with them. May god bless everyone. No one deserves to suffer.