I am terrified- I have good reason to be.
I walk outside and bile moves up my esophagus as I try to not think about it. No two fingers are the same in our own hands. No two people are the same. I feel like I do not have much left to be attached to, and this detached outlook scares me sometimes. I try to find a balance between need and wants; material and spiritual; selfishness and genuine desire. It's a difficult process- I am not even sure how to cope with it at 24. I get this odd feeling feeling that I'll only live till I'm 50, so I'm probably "middle aged" as far as my timeline is concerned, but I still have the body of a 24 year old, the face of a 20 year old, and the childlike smile of a 5 year old.
Mostly, I feel overwhelmed by the nothingness of it all, because in the end, everything is exactly that- nothing.
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