attractive, not beautiful

Always, Shreya is the attractive one- in an unconventional way. Something is off about me, something broken, damaged, weird- that attracts people to me. Although people do tell me that I am a beauty, I think, what they mean is, "Shreya, there's something that draws me to you. I can't point a finger on it". When I was 18, I asked god for bigger boobs. I had them by my 19th birthday. When I was 20, I asked god to make me "look good" so that men would be attracted to me (I was a scrawny 95 pounds at 5'6). Sure enough, I get hit on all the time. It used to be wonderful. Now I wonder what's wrong with men. Actually, scratch that. I wonder what's wrong with me that I don't seem to enjoy the compliments anymore. I know why- because they do not mean anything to me.
What I should have asked god- "Dear god, please make me so good that men fall in love with me." I'll ask for that tonight.

Here's me-