Flaws of the Zodiac- Amusingly Accurate

I cracked up when I came across this, so I had to share. Maybe someone will smile when he or she reads this.

My Moon Sign Pisces-

Pisces has often been called the dustbin of the zodiac. Mental hospital is a closer description. On your trek around the karmic wheel, you've not only picked up everyone else's bad habit, you've managed to forgo most of the good ones.

You are as obtuse as Taurus, anal as Virgo, and as wishy-washy as Libra. You blather as much as Gemini and Sagittarius put together, but your conversation is limited to instant replays of all the boring details of your crisis-laden life. When you want something you can knock down more little old ladies than an Aries fighting to be first at a Macy's white sale. You are as freaked-out as Aquarius, obsessed as Scorpio, and whiny as a Cancer with a sore throat. Your penchant for theatrics makes the most flamboyant Leo look reticent, and your opinion of yourself is higher than that of a Capricorn who's just foreclosed on a Swiss bank.

You also have the special-to-you-alone gift for viewing life from a perpetually unworkable slant. You are so afraid of conflict that you would rather eat worms than confront a problem. But that's fine with you because it gives you the excuse to lie on the coach all day, flipping the remote and sighing.

The cliché of the lights are on but no one's home was no doubt first used to describe a Fish. You will fade out in the middle of commuter traffic going seventy, wake up in the next town, and have absolutely no idea how you got there.

Every Pisces is addicted to something. The obvious dangers are booze and drugs. However, serial romances, food, TV, and excessive sleep are also ways you avoid dealing with reality. You are probably a lifetime member of every organization with anonymous in the title.

Pisces have every psychological and psychosomatic illness known to man and participate in medical research trials more often than any other sign. You love the attention and use the twenty-five dollars to buy wine. You are so afraid of confrontation that trying to carry on a conversation with you is like talking to a bobble-head doll You can't make a decision, no matter how inconsequential, and have the social presence of a doormat. But, you do hate to see suffering. That's why you wear dark glasses.

Your favorite TV shows are the Jerry Lewis Telethon and the PTL Club. You love to cry along with fellow Fish Jerry, and to self-righteously bash those lacquer-haired televangelists.

As the last sign of the zodiac, you've walked in every other sign's shoes at least once. And slept in all their beds. You charm the pants off anyone -- literally. However, you are so reality-challenged that you don't want a life, you want a movie.

Pisces make good actors, faith healers, vice cops, savants, and drag queens. You are also psychic; however, you are so self-absorbed that the only future you care about is your own.

Yo don't do realism. Instead you prefer to view life from either your internal set of rose-colored glasses, or from a state of altered consciousness. Either way, you drift through the years with your head in the sand, preferring your fantasies and dragging behind you an endless line of losers you call family and friends. But that's OK with you, since it gives you an excuse to drink and bitch.

You are the chameleon of the Universe, and the shades of every other sign flutter through your soul. Because you are so acquiescent and hate conflict, you are invariably underestimated. Once you learn to quit underestimating yourself, that quality is precisely what will give you the edge over every other sign.

My Sun Sign Leo-

Everywhere you go you command attention. That's because you are usually carrying a gun. You vie with Aries for the Most Obnoxious Human award and pick arguments in sports bars just to show everyone who's boss.

You are the first to aid friends and family in times of need and just as quick to announce to the world how good hearted you were to offer assistance. You assume control of every situation where more than one person is gathered. In an elevator you position yourself next to the door and push the floor buttons. At the grocery store you instruct the bag boy how to pack the sack.

Your idea of a good career is any profession in which your title is longer than your business card. Leo is the sign of the grade-school teacher, TV wrestler, karaoke champ, and floating crap game organizer. Lions also make good hair stylists, actors and conga line leaders.

You don't do solitude. Instead, you head for the nearest party, arriving fashionably late so you can sweep into the room offering your fingertips and air kisses to your loyal fans as you head to the center of the action. Your nature is so theatrical that you can't bear the thought of being just one of the crowd and you will stand on your head or someone else's back, to grab the spotlight.

Your home is your castle, where you rule by intimidation. You spend your evening scolding your family, yelling at the dog, and hanging up on your mother. Your temper is like a solar flare. It flashes out, singeing the ears of the hapless person who dared to disagree, then dissipates just as quickly. Because you have selective memory, you think you are calm, cool and collected and will beat the hell out of anyone who disagrees.

In a romance you have all the finesse of a sailor returning home from a twelve-month cruise. You'll go home with anyone who has great hair. The next day, you bore your friends with tales of sexual conquest that everyone knows are lies. What you don't know is that, secretly, everyone hopes you get eaten by a crocodile.

Your checking account serves as a clearing house between your paycheck and creditors, and you've filed for bankruptcy so often you're banned from using credit cards until 2052. Your favorite game is Follow the Leader, with you at the head of the group. But, instead of Captain Courageous, you're more like the captain of the Titanic. You never know where you are going and invariably lead everyone to disaster.

In real life, John Wayne was a Gemini. However, every role he ever played was pure Leo. Always strong, sometimes arrogant, his characters always knew just what they wanted and just how to get it. So do you.

You are lively, sincere, and elegant. Your independent nature is most contented when you are fighting for a cause, or an underdog. However, since your vices can be as large as your virtues, you need to learn to redirect some of your powerful energy. Give your attention to others versus calling it to yourself. Focus on taking time to understand more and criticize less, and not a sign in the zodiac will be able to resist you. In the meantime, anyone who wants to wrestle with the Lion will soon find out that you are still King of the Jungle.

My rising sign Scorpio-

Why is your life so difficult? Because you are still repaying the bad karma you earned the last go-around, when you were Torquemada's rack-master during the Inquisition.

Your exaggerated nature provides extremes of every kind. Compulsions and obsessions explode within your psyche. A startlingly large number of you either become geniuses, or sink into the lowest depths of depravity. You latter types make ideal mates for Pisces.

Your favorite TV shows are reruns of Dark Shadows and you wear a Barnabas Collins ring on your forefinger. You love to point randomly at unsuspecting strangers and mumble gibberish. Your moods range from irritable to pissed off, and you frequently sulk, brood, intimidate, spy and cheat. That's on one of your good days. Unlike Taurus, who is blind to his faults, you are acutely aware of your flaws, but excessively proud of them. For instance, you like to wear a minipicture of your mug shot on a gold chain.

Being a fixed sign means that your emotions and opinions rarely change. You are kindly described as "still water runs deep". You more closely resemble a boiling cesspool of hydrochloric acid. Your metaphorical stinger is always poised for attack and you are supposedly known for vicious verbal barbs. In reality, most of you are merely cantankerous bores who constantly posture and gouge lines in the dirt daring others to step across.

You are so private even your relatives don't know your unlisted phone number. You have a NO SOLICITORS sign on the barbed-wire fence around your property, and anyone attempting to reach your front door will need a map and a flashlight to make it through the overgrowth. You are so paranoid that you think Alcatraz would be a safe place to live.

Scorpios have bumper stickers that say things like, "My child sells drugs to your honor student." You are chronically terse, and have Bad Ass, Son of Bad Ass, or Mother of Bad Ass tattooed on your neck.

You keep a police scanner on the kitchen table to track the movements of your friends -- both of them. Instead of family pictures, your refrigerator is covered with magnetic business cards of lawyers, therapists, and bail bondsmen. Inside is a mishmash of variety ranging from mashed potatoes to granola bars. Your eating habits swing as wildly as your emotions, from Spartan bark eater to comfort-food junkie.

Scorpio is the sign of the prosecuting attorney, psychopath, Mafia negotiator, and more-parts-than-you-were-prepared-to-lose surgeon. Scorpios also make good stalkers, astrologers, and psychics; however very few of you are in the latter profession because you refuse to acknowledge your clairvoyance.

You follow Scorpio Adam Ant's views on sex. He said, "I like sex. My songs are about sex ... sex is my life. I just find it the most exhilarating experience, and I think it should he done on stage." You'd join his band if you could.

You are the most intense of all signs. Telling you to learn to go with the flow, or to lighten up, is ridiculous. Control is your forté. Learn to use it on yourself before running over your children, friends, and lovers with your steel-belted emotions and you'll quickly discover that most people like to be around you because of the sheer force of your personality.

Take it all with a grain of salt...but don't be surprised if you see any accurate descriptions.

Karma or soulmates?

I recently read somewhere that soulmates are friends who stay together for life- two complete souls that walk side by side; while karmic connections are strong ties that remain for limited time frames in someone's lifetimes until they learn their relationship lessons. Twin connections are masculine and feminine connections that manifest seperately for lifetimes until they rejoin at key periods. They are two sides of a whole, and "twin flame" connections are rather rare, because most souls in this world are still at the process of reaching that point. Twin souls do not meet in every lifetime. When twin souls are done with their human experiences, they depart this world into eternal consciousness.

I recognize my own relationships through this. It makes perfect sense, this concept of purpose in a relationship. My first relationship was a form of Karmic debt that my ex and I owed to each other- we needed to know what we did not want in a relationship and we found out through each other. I learned many things from him about his South East Asian culture, value systems and society. I also was inspired by him- he came to the United States at 14 as a refugee and had to make a living for the first two- three years selling newspapers with his mother. He did not speak any English, and yet, today, (almost 18 years later), he is in Medical School. His attitude of reaching for the highest goals rubbed off on me, and helped me do well in college. I faced a lot of flak from my family during that time, but his strength kept me going. I became his motivation to go to medical school. He enjoyed my youth and innocence; he benefited from our communication because he always felt that he could talk to me about anything without being judged. I also nudged him to bridge the communication gap with his mother. I was with him during his most important days and I introduced him to Indian culture- a knowledge with which he won over his next girlfriend Pooja's heart. We were not meant to be together forever, and despite the initial discomfort and sadness, it felt right when we broke up.


Karmic partners seek out each other's energy. Their relationships often begin with great passion yet end without any attraction. These relationships may also leave one partner feeling particularly drained. When karmic partners part, this is a sign that business has been settled and debts are paid or the timing is not right to accomplish these goals and it's all right to move on.

I've have soulmates here- Minoti is a soulmate. Her and I are two schoolchildren who will always walk through life together. She cares for me more than I care for her sometimes; she always looks for solutions for me, and although she can be hotheaded and impulsive, I love her for her honesty. She looks out for me and tries to protect me from being hurt. I always give Minoti a non judgmental ear. I advise her and cheer her on to the best of my ability. I help her with her wardrobe and I am her go to person for make up- I'll be doing that for her on her wedding day. The woman my uncle in India married is also a soulmate- in fact, they say, I chose her for my uncle (I was not yet 4 at that time). In India, arranged marriages were common that time. I went with my family to the woman's home. As everyone else was talking, the attention whore that I was (and still am), I walked over to her and snuggled into her lap, calling her "my nice auntie". She fed me some cashews and almonds from her hands. I fell asleep in her arms. My uncle married her within the next 6 months. We remain best friends, forever. My best friend Shruti, the one whose wedding is this November, is also a soulmate. We used to only meet for 15-20 days in a year, when I used to visit my mother's parents, but we became friends at 3 and we have been best friends since. I don't need to see her frequently to resume a deep, connected conversation with her. In fact, when I was leaving India at the age of 11, I had made a wish that after we get married, her and I would stay in the same city. That wish may come true, because her fiancee is studying in New York at present, and he will be looking for job, possibly in Los Angeles, this upcoming year. There is another person who is my soul mate as well, and I am glad that I recognized our connection.

When soul twins reunite, both of them experience an acceleration of their spiritual growth and awakening. They get on the fast track of learning about esoteric wisdom and experiencing other states of consciousness. They usually haven't been together all that often during their series of lives on the planet, and so their backgrounds may be different. Guidance is strong with these relationships, and usually one or both have good psychic abilities. Their connection is telepathic, and, here's the biggest giveaway- hugging or holding each other feels like coming home for nourishment.

Twin connections are marked by difficulties and obstacles- whether it be distance, a previous romantic attachment, or simply fear from such a strong energy (this bond is so intense that it can scare the strongest of us). The biggest reason twins have to separate after coming together is their individual emotional baggage. Because in the presence of your twin, there can be nothing between you, nothing blocking your closeness. This means that everything comes up for healing that you haven't previously healed. Everything! Of course, they do come back together once both the halves are ready. Every previous relationship feels like "practice" for this grand "twin soul" relationship. I am lucky enough to have experienced all of the above mentioned relationship connections. The best relationship is one in which individuals are both soul mates AND twin souls- complete by themselves and fulfilled with each other.

I'm frustrated

to my core. My hands are tied and I've never regretted being broke before, but today marks the first day of it.

My energy is pure and positive, but I feel it weakening, and as I sense repeated roadblocks, I feel faint and tired to the point of exhaustion. I've dealt with so much last year and my sickness has left me spent. What do I do? I keep banging on all the doors, but they remain closed. I wish I had enough positivity in me to fight it all back, but I am really weak at this point. My weight has dropped to lower than 100 pounds as a result of being sick. Work is piling up here. My brother is suffering from Chicken Pox which he contracted from me. I am facing blocks to my happiness. It all seems to line up against me and I am afraid that I will break into pieces, like a twig. What about my happiness? Did the fates forget to write in my destiny even the basics? 

I need Krishna's help- today, more than ever. No, I'm not giving up on anything. My mind just needs rest.

"Where do you want to settle?"

Mr Shukla asked me as I sat down next to him on our large dining table. I instantly recognized the man- his piercing hazel gaze, tobacco stained smile and shrewdness does not escape me. I last saw him when I was 6, but who can forget such a face? Mr Shukla is around my grandfather's age. He is a very spiritual man- he's been our family friend for years. His career expertise lies in Real Estate Brokerage- a man of contradictions! I was surprised to see him again because only a few days ago, I was thinking about this scary looking man whom I met when I was still a baby.

Of course he wanted to know where I would prefer to live. Close relatives and acquaintances these days have only one topic to bug my parents and I about- my nuptials. He stated that he is trying to find out my preferences so that he could refer me to an eligible bachelor's family. My family just smiled; I stammered, "Anywhere life takes me is good- for right now, it is Los Angeles!" He laughed, "Not India? Ever?" I smiled, "Never say never".

Mr Shukla then quit talking about marriage, looked into my eyes with a knowing look, smiled, and said, "Things will go the way you want them to. Just meditate and let that be your guide." I sucked in a sharp breath- he knew! I thought about it later as well, and realized that he is aware of what I am going through. In fact, he had brought for us as a present a book by Yogananda (The monk who established the Lake Shrine in Pacific Palisades) on meditation. While leaving, his daughter whispered in my ear about a meditation center in Montebello that was amazing for fulfillment energy- even she knew? I closed my eyes when he left, and a voice in my head spoke to me- Soulmates- this struggle is your Karma. At the risk of sounding retarded, I now know that souls recognize each other. No, this won't happen on my time line. I do not even know how events would unfold- I have given up trying to piece the puzzle together. It will happen when I've learned my lessons and when souls are ready. I will not bother anyone anymore- it does not do any good. Now that I know the whys, I won't ask about the hows.

This leaves one less person to bother me about my marriage. Mr. Shukla knows- and thank you for pointing it out to me, my visitor from back in time.

One of the biggest lessons

that my experiences in life taught me is to love unconditionally, without fearing hurt. To give love with both hands- not as an exchange with one hand to give and one to take from. I have been hurt before when I have loved people. Sometimes, people get so badly hurt that they carry it with them and decide to hurt others before others hurt them. They wear glasses that blind them from seeing love. I've experienced this many times from others; my first reaction is a sad smile. Yes, it is better to be safe than sorry, but for how long can one guard his or her heart? Love is a risk- but so is life.

Life has also taught me to give people space, because even if I can clearly see the issue at hand, at the end of the day, who am I to know what's best for someone else? If they need space, I have enough respect for them to move aside. Often, especially in my generation, affection is mistaken for neediness. It hurts me when people misread it, because I reserve my affectionate side for a chosen few. Still, I understand; I always do.

I also learned that being passionate does equal mean being dramatic. I am an intense person, but I have no affinity for drama outside of the stage. I demonstrate passion if I care for someone, but I prefer levelheaded discussions. I do tend to find myself in dramatic scenarios, but I try to remain calm. I try but fail sometimes.

Mes amis, c'est la vie. La vie compliquee, la vie difficile, et quelquefois, la triste vie. Mais toujours, La Belle Vie.

Don't forget

to love those people who god gifted to you, because one day, he will need them back.

Everyone may not be good, but there is good in everyone- Never judge anyone shortly because every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. 

Stagnant

I abhor the aforementioned word. Sadly, I've allowed myself to stagnate professionally, when it comes to acting, in the last year. I was taking the necessary steps earlier, and I did make some errors, but I just lost momentum and started fearing. Fearing rejection- rejection by everyone. It's happened before. Check. But rejection of self, by self? No- I am better than my circumstances.

It's my own fault for treating my art this way and I do feel terribly guilty for letting precious time slip by me. Yes, I am able to earn my living, but I am not getting anywhere if I treat life's small turns as roadblocks. No excuses- there should be no reason to grow depressed and stop progressing in life. I take all responsibility for not working hard enough. I planned my agenda for the next few months- it's better to do it in steps. Step one- a refresher course (4 months long) in stage acting which starts next month. Ballet morning classes twice a week to correct my posture. A camera acting workshop which begins in April that lasts for three months (which I would have started in January had I not been sick). I know my talent and weaknesses, but that is not the solution. I cannot look myself in the mirror if I continue this way. I was taking a leisurely walk when I imagined my future. I've always wanted to design but never had the opportunity to attend design school. When I have paid projects, if the pay is any good, I'd like to attend design school during the time when I am not acting. Eventually, I'd do it as a part time career when I have time off from gigs/ projects. I always want to do better and learn new things.

Also, I have always wanted to spend some time doing things for the community- I want to serve the homeless once a week in downtown. I can start this week- I have the time and the ability to.