Scorpio rising woman

I'm a scorpio ascendant/ scorpio rising woman. Here's what the astrologers have to say about me-

Female

The Scorpio rising female is a mystery, to herself and to men. Sexuality is her most potent force and she attracts men in every crowd. She knows what she wants, and any man she becomes interested in will know it is he. She isn't afraid to approach a man either as a business partner or for a relationship of a more intimate nature.

This woman is a mind reader but she won't always let her partner know this...sometimes it's better to keep this knowledge to herself as a secret weapon. Passion is something a relationship with a Scorpio rising will never lack--be it as a screaming match or an all night party for two. She needs romance in the form of sensual fabrics, oils, and scents. She, like her male counterpart, expects any commitment to last forever and she will work very hard to accomplish this.

Scorpio rising can be very dominating and smothering--when she comes across in this manner it is a sure sign that she needs attention and reassurance. She will not tolerate an unfaithful partner and she will quickly make a plan of revenge, even if her plan doesn't extend beyond removing her cheating mate from her presence forever. Indeed, that is likely the worst fate, for once a man is in love with a Scorpio, he will never forget her.

Their relationship may dissolve into a love/hate type of connection and he may never see her again, but he will long remember the passionate nights they spent together in front of the fireplace, or the other nights he spent tied to the bedpost. He will be very hard pressed to find that combination of emotional faithfulness and sexual intensity again... unless he becomes involved with another Scorpio type.

Guilty as charged.

Damn near slapped him

"I feel bad for your parents. They are the stupidest parents I've ever seen in my life. I laugh at them when I think of them. Their daughter turned out to be a whore right in front of their eyes, and their boy will probably end up being a nobody."

I damn near slapped him for saying this to me. How dare he? Yes, there was a time in my life when I was promiscuous- and yes, I know that the world judges me for it. I was always loyal to him as long as I was with him. It was after I left the relationship that I began "whoring it out", so to speak. I bear the consequences of my indescretions. However, how dare he insult my parents, and how dare he say things about my baby brother?

I know better- I know how bitter he is, and whatever he is saying is not in the slightest bit true. We make our own reality. My brother will make his own. My parents are lovely people, and it is not their fault that I am flawed.

A Big Fat Indian Wedding

I don't have anything to give you today

Monday- early morning. 4th of July. Happy Independence Day, America, and thank you very much, the person who saved me the that day.

"Nothing bad will happen to me. It never does", I reassure my friend, as I leave her room at the Long Beach Hyatt that day. This statement would have been made sense had it not been pitch dark outside, at 2:15 AM. After hearing a lecture from her well-meaning family and cousins about safety, I carry my bags of clothes down the escalator and decide to drive home to Irvine after the grand wedding festivities. God, what a splendid way to enjoy the weekend! My best friends' cousin just got married to his sweetheart of seven years- I got to crash the wedding festivities- all 3 days of it! As my thoughts race back to the party, I do not realize that there are cops outside the parking garage. I think nothing of it, even after I do notice them. The parking attendant, a young boy, probably no older than I, and of slight build, approaches me, and tells me that he would accompany me to my parking spot on the underground level. "Why not?", I say to myself. As he walks with me, he helps me with my bags and proceeds to explain to me that he is doing this for my safety. Before I can ask any questions, I hear someone yelling behind me. I freeze in horror as I see a homeless man running towards me with something that resembles a baseball bat in his hand. More disturbing is the fact that I could barely walk, lot alone run in the sari and the six inch heels that I was wearing that day. The parking attendant runs in the other direction to distract the homeless man- they run around the parking lot twice, until my savior is able to get the cops to arrest the homeless man. He returns and apologizes to me for running away with my bag. "Are you kidding?" I exclaim, "You saved my life". He walks me to my car and tries to make small talk with me about the wedding party and the unsafe condition of Long Beach. I oblige and feel terrible as we reach my car. I have no money with me in my fancy clutch. I say to the attendant, "Thank you so much for helping me. I am really sorry, but I have nothing to give you today." "Oh no, please, ma'am. I just wanted to keep that guy away from you", he replies.

I hope that someday I am able to run into him again. Maybe then, I could repay him back for what he did for me that day, although no amount of cash would ever make up for his kindness. Thank god for small acts of mercy. Bless that boy.

A memorable dinner

I had an interesting experience today. I went out to dinner at a restaurant, alone. My friends usually go with me to this one, so the hostess/ waiters know me by now. As I entered the restaurant, the lady asked me if I was alone. I nodded, yes. She seated me to a table in the corner and saved the booth for people in larger groups or couples. Fair enough, I say to myself. There were a lot of people, and they had just started this buffet special in the evenings, so they were extremely busy. They ask me if I want the buffet. I say no, I know what I want, and I decide to order a la carte, without even looking at the menu. After what seems like forever, my food arrives, but they take it to the wrong table. Strike one. I also did not have the drink that I had ordered, so I gently remind them to please bring me my coke. After realizing her mistake, the waitress returns to me, serves me the food, and exclaims, "Oh, I did not realize that you were actually going to sit here alone and eat! I thought you would order to-go" Whatever, I begin eating, and they never bring me my coke. Strike two. Then, two couples walk into the crowded restaurant. The waitress, without bothering to ask me, seats them at my table- because I'm a single lady out to dinner by myself, and I have not right to a table . This makes me not want to eat anymore at this table. This is the third strike, and the food doesn't taste as good tonight, I think to myself. I need to see a play that my friends are a part of tonight in Hollywood, and I need to be there in an hour. I had better leave now. I ask for the to-go boxes and the check. After waiting a good 10 minutes for the check, it arrives. I decide to tip fairly. I was only mildly annoyed and highly amused by their behavior today. I understand that if I go out to do things alone, I should expect this sort of thing to happen, but I do this all the time. I go to bars alone to relax and have a beer, I go walk on the beach alone at night, I go out to eat alone- because a lot of times, that is just what I need. I wonder what her motivation was to give me such cold treatment, I smile and think to myself. Has this occurred to me a few months ago, I would have probably made a sarcastic remark or two (I usually try to keep my sharp sarcasm under wraps, lest I offend someone). However, today, I just sat their patiently, and tried to learn a thing or two by observing them.

I won't be going back there anytime soon, but all said and done, it was a memorable dinner.

I love you

I love you a lot. I hope you're doing well, wherever you are. I miss you and can't wait to see you again.

Tes yeux

your eyes touch me
my heart loses control
love makes life eternal
when your eyes touched me, I found light 
when your soul touched me, I found life

love is the essence of living
what would life be without love

why does a candle have the desire to melt
why does a moth have the desire to burn
life is the test of these desires

life pardons those who love
the story of their love does not end with their death     

there is no heart devoid of love 
every soul is thirsty for it, every heart goes mad for it

life pardons those who love
the story of their love does not end with their death