"The liar's punishment is not that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else."
-George Bernard Shaw
Monday, June 25, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
I worry
And rightly so, because if I am not as welcome at his home, I wonder how my future offspring will fare. I want my sons and daughters to be born in a home where they receive all the love in the world and where they are always welcome.
I don't want them to ask for "permission" to visit their grandma or great grandma, as the case may be. That's what matters to me the most and if his family cannot accept me warmly, then it would cost my children a lot of family ties. I know that it will take my parents time to warm up to him if I do introduce him to them, but I know that he will be family once they accept him. I am not worried because I know that my parents will always welcome him and my kids and even his family with open arms once they get over the initial rough stages.
I don't want them to ask for "permission" to visit their grandma or great grandma, as the case may be. That's what matters to me the most and if his family cannot accept me warmly, then it would cost my children a lot of family ties. I know that it will take my parents time to warm up to him if I do introduce him to them, but I know that he will be family once they accept him. I am not worried because I know that my parents will always welcome him and my kids and even his family with open arms once they get over the initial rough stages.
People are cold here
America's a funny place- people have all the money in the world but their hearts can be incredibly small.
His mother expressed her displeasure at my staying over at his grandmothers' for a night. I understand, but at the same time, I was also hurt and I began to cry as I hung up the phone, partly because I was taken aback and partly because I realized how different cultures can be. However, it's not the cultural difference that bothers me- heck, I follow a Bohemian kind of lifestyle myself, so I do not adhere to any specific culture's practices. But I do observe them.
I appreciate his grandmother's hospitality and I genuinely love how sweet she is to me. His mother was extremely kind when she met me, so it comes as a surprise when she mentioned to him that she was not the biggest fan of my staying the night over at his grandmothers'. First of all, it's not like I do it all the time. Secondly, one of the two nights when this actually did happen, I had just returned from a trip and my home is 20 something miles from his grandma's. In the name of humanity, if nothing else, I would let a kid stay. Heck, if my son loved a woman, I'd do anything in my power to make her feel welcome and at home. In fact, my home would be her home. I made a mental note to myself to never say the same thing that his mother said to my own family or children- they would be welcome to bring home anyone they love. In the end, when I was done with my crying, I looked in the mirror, smiled and forgave his mother for being petty. I forgave myself as well for overstepping boundaries and becoming too comfortable with his grandmother too soon (What could i do? I miss my grandparents so much that when I see someone else's, I jump at the opportunity to talk to them). Life's not worth holding grudges, especially if it's your future mother in law in question. This is just be beginning.
His mother expressed her displeasure at my staying over at his grandmothers' for a night. I understand, but at the same time, I was also hurt and I began to cry as I hung up the phone, partly because I was taken aback and partly because I realized how different cultures can be. However, it's not the cultural difference that bothers me- heck, I follow a Bohemian kind of lifestyle myself, so I do not adhere to any specific culture's practices. But I do observe them.
I appreciate his grandmother's hospitality and I genuinely love how sweet she is to me. His mother was extremely kind when she met me, so it comes as a surprise when she mentioned to him that she was not the biggest fan of my staying the night over at his grandmothers'. First of all, it's not like I do it all the time. Secondly, one of the two nights when this actually did happen, I had just returned from a trip and my home is 20 something miles from his grandma's. In the name of humanity, if nothing else, I would let a kid stay. Heck, if my son loved a woman, I'd do anything in my power to make her feel welcome and at home. In fact, my home would be her home. I made a mental note to myself to never say the same thing that his mother said to my own family or children- they would be welcome to bring home anyone they love. In the end, when I was done with my crying, I looked in the mirror, smiled and forgave his mother for being petty. I forgave myself as well for overstepping boundaries and becoming too comfortable with his grandmother too soon (What could i do? I miss my grandparents so much that when I see someone else's, I jump at the opportunity to talk to them). Life's not worth holding grudges, especially if it's your future mother in law in question. This is just be beginning.
Monday, June 4, 2012
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